I tried to play golf yesterday. I played well -- on the first hole. I racked up some big numbers on a few holes. That's not important, however. The weather was great. I enjoyed the company of the three guys in the foursome.
Something strange happened. I was bitten or stung by something. Not just one thing. They ganged up on me. There were three of them, maybe four. One got me on my right middle finger. One got me on the right arm, just above the elbow on the inner side. I want to say just above the medial epicondyle, but I don't know it that's the correct nomenclature. I had a welt there. The finger hurt like hell, but it was functional. I tested it. It worked -- flipped right out with no problem.
I think two of them got me on the back, right through my shirt. I didn't see those, but the same stinging, burning pain was inflicted, like being stabbed with a hot, thin needle. I brushed away the two that I saw, and I must have looked like a maniac, the way I was trying to get the other two off my back.
I didn't swell up like a balloon; it simply felt like hot needles being driven into my skin. I had to find out what they were; so, last night, I searched the Internet after I took two showers because I felt like I had bugs and stuff crawling all over me.
I couldn't find these creatures anywhere on the Internet in my Google searches. So, I have no idea what these things were, whether I have been poisoned, or what. There are rumors going around that the government uses bugs like this to inject nano things into people to track them and listen in on conversations and see what they are reading these days.
That kind of thinking is paranoid. The government wouldn't be doing stuff like that on golf courses where the public plays -- at country clubs where the movers and shakers play, that's another story. The more likely explanation is that these "bugs" are really alien beings. And pretty soon, I'll be eating dinner and something will jump out of my chest.
Of course, I could be wrong. And little nano things are monitoring me.
Posted by Bill at August 17, 2007 11:23 PMThe thing I have always hated about the East and the Mid"west" is the insect life. We don't get ganged up on in these parts much.
Since the movers and shakers control the government, don't you think it is natural that they'd go after the little guys on the public golfcourses? I mean, that's where the revolutions come from.
My wife looked up a book about explosives tonight. I thought I'd mention it so that we wouldn't be the only ones ringing a bell in the CIA surveillance centers tonight.
Boom!
Posted by: Joel at August 18, 2007 01:57 AMNow we know what Mork was going on about ... Nano Nano!
Posted by: Kyle at August 18, 2007 03:03 AMI can't wait for the next episode...
I'd guess that you were the victim of several horseflies. Those fuckers hurt. I hear deer flies are even worse. Once, when "vacationing' up in the Wisconsin northwoods, a horse fly bit me on my leg, through a pair of jeans upon which insect repellent had been sprayed.
And then I had to hike two miles through the snow to get to civilization.
***
I forgot to mention in my comment over on Stacey's side and, really, it's too much trouble to go back over there when I'm already over here, that I bought this book for my sons: http://www.backyard-ballistics.com/
You know, seeing as I'm a seditious-throw-all-caution-to-the-wind-let's-go-blow-things-up-boys type of mom
That ought'll keep the guys at Ft Meade busy for a nanosecond or two...
Posted by: lucy at August 20, 2007 12:13 AM