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Peeps Patrol

There are times when one must coax an answer out of the suspect. Sometimes, the witness will be cooperative -- the witness has nothing to hide, has no stake in the outcome, or is just downright honest.

Other times, a witness will be uncooperative -- the witness has something to hide, has a stake in the outcome, or doesn't like the person who will be helped. At these times, threats of legal action or payment of money may achieve the cooperation of the witness.

Then, there are the unusual times when the witness is obstinate and intransigent -- the witness is hiding something, has a stake in the outcome, or is just plain crazy. One finds that the normal methods do not work.

So, the witness refuses to talk. What do you do?

Many Peeps refuse to talk; therefore, it was decided to attempt harsh interrogation methods.

Peep after being smacked around and refusing to talk, but prior to administration of microwave radiation:

Peep after 10 seconds of microwave radiation:

Microwave radiation was halted, after which Peep was asked if it would talk. Peep refused.

Peep after 20 additional seconds of microwave radiation:

Microwave radiation was halted, after which Peep was asked if it would talk. Peep refused. An examination was conducted of Peep. The white matter of its head was liquified. Administration of microwave radiation is not a technique that is effective in obtaining rational statements from the subject Peep.

CAUTION: DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME! DEATH MAY RESULT IF A PEEP ESCAPES FROM CAPTIVITY. SEVERE BURNS MAY RESULT FROM CONTACT WITH MICROWAVED PEEP.

TOMORROW: Electric shock.

Posted by Bill at March 15, 2010 01:12 AM