May 10, 2010

Man's Best Friend

Michael Bernhart Beckman -- you know this guy is a deranged criminal because he is known by three names, just like Lee Harvey Oswald, John Wayne Gacy, Jack The Ripper, and so many more -- has been arrested down in Lee County, Florida. He had an argument with one of his dogs and stabbed her with a kitchen knife. Oh, yeah -- allegedly.

The local news down that way reports the dog is recovering and that Beckman is being held by the sheriff after being charged with felonious assault on a dog.

Beth Deaton Smith -- notice the three names -- bundled up five puppies in a duffle bag and left the bag in an alley, where it was nearly hit by a car. Luckily, the driver stopped and discovered the little puppies. The police tracked Beth Deaton Smith down, and she entered guilty pleas to five counts of cruelty to companion animals and five counts of abandoning animals and will spend the next 90 days in jail, according to the local newspaper. I couldn't find the sentence anywhere on the court's website, but I did find that Ms. Smith has become very well known to the police and the court system over the past 12 years.

And now we come to the irascible, 68- year- old Craig Deering, who shot and killed his Aurora, Colorado, neighbor's dog, according to a local TV station. He stashed the pellet gun in the trash. He admitted shooting the dog. The police arrested him. He ought to spend time in jail, solitary confinement, for as long as possible.

As I was looking at that article, I noticed that a jury convicted David Leroy Blurton of illegally discharging a firearm, among other offenses. David Leroy Blurton should be stripped of one of his three names, and he should have had a different attorney. Why? Well, he should have had a different attorney because maybe that different attorney would have made some kind of plea bargain, which would have been of absolutely no interest to the local news outlet; and we would have never known that old, drunk Dave Blurton shot himself right in his private parts.

Posted by Bill at May 10, 2010 04:28 PM

The first 3 need to stay in prison for good, because they're incipient serial killers. That 4th guy needs his weapon back and some ammo. He's made for the Darwin Awards. Let's see how many times he has to reload before he finishes the job.

Posted by: Kyle at May 12, 2010 10:54 PM