May 11, 2011

A Visit to Starbucks

I'm sitting in Starbucks. I told the guy sitting 25 feet from me that he was talking very loud on the phone and disturbing me. I was polite. I didn't call him any names or threaten him in any way. Really. I was nice. I said "Excuse me" and "sir" and was being all proper.

He told the person on the other end of his phone call that he had to go. How do I know that? Because he was talking as if he had a can on a string and the other person was in Cincinnati.

He looked at me through his thick glasses, grey goatee moving as he spoke, and asked me what my problem was. I said that he was talking inappropriately loud on the phone and disturbing my concentration, as I was working on my United States Supreme Court brief in opposition to certiorari. Okay. That Supreme Court thing was a lie, but he was really loud and pissing me off.

He told me that I should go to "Sylvian" Learning Center across the road.

I didn't have a comeback for that non sequitur.

He kept rambling about how I wasn't being polite or a good citizen.

I ignored him. He kept talking. Finally, I told him that I wasn't engaging in any further conversation with him. He stopped talking, but not before he told me that "Sylvian" Learning Center would help me.

I should have choked him.

Posted by Bill at May 11, 2011 11:01 AM
Comments

He and his goatee and thick glasses obviously needed some more caffeine to make the morning a little more high-strung. AND you should have choked him. What an ass. I'm usually not so polite. I employ Minnesota Nice and just use my passive aggressive stare and *heavy sigh* and slamming things around tactics on people with hopes they'll get the picture. Never works. But they don't usually tell me to go to Sylvian, either. :) Whatever the heck that is.

Posted by: Keri at May 11, 2011 01:20 PM

Everybody's getting snarky lately around here, too. It's because they killed bin laden. Our natural, stupidass rage needs a focal point. Who do we hate now, if not each other? We need a new enemy, or it's rats in a cage for the whole country. I suggest Palin, or Canada.

Posted by: Kyle at May 12, 2011 01:24 AM