Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Toothpaste Is Dangerous!

I will not recount my many brushes with the demon electricity. There are those who may say that my cavalier attitude is self-destructive; but there are also those who have been entertained, which I feel good about.

I do know enough that bleach and household ammonia products should not be mixed. And if you are not aware of the highly irritating and, sometimes, deadly and explosive vapors that can be produced, please take heed. Mixing the two household chemicals will not lead to a cleaner bathroom, but will generate nitrogen trichloride, which will irritate the eyes and mucous membranes.

If a person is really determined to get a cleaner bathroom, he might even kill himself -- and I use the form "he" because I can't imagine a woman doing this. It's the guy, who will say, "Clean the fucking bathroom? I'll clean the fucking bathroom! I'll show her how to clean the fucking bathroom!" And then he'll pull out the Chlorox and the Mr. Clean and kill himself.

Of course, he could add way more ammonia, just to show her, and make the rocket propellant, hydrazine, as a by-product, which is highly explosive. And he'd be dead before the explosion occurred.

So, I know enough not to do that; but who knew that toothpaste was just as dangerous. The woman over on the left of your screen likes Crest Pro Health. And I must admit that I have used Crest toothpaste since it was first endorsed by dentists as a decay-preventing dentifrice way before the turn of the century. I blame my mother because it was my mother who forced me to brush my teeth with Crest or Arm & Hammer baking soda. I showed her for about two days, using baking soda, then switched to the better-tasting Crest.

The other day, in Target, I saw a Colgate Optic White toothpaste display. I grabbed a tube. I think I like it better than Crest Pro Health.

But, last night, I thought, "What if I combined them?" That would certainly work better, I figured with my simple male mind. And it's a good thing that I used only the tiniest amount of each because the result -- well, it was an explosion of sorts, you might say. It was only the briefest of a blinding flash, and the blast was not big enough to cause any tooth damage; but I don't recommend combining the two.

Here's the deal. One of the ingredients of Colgate Optic White is glycerol. One of the ingredients of Crest Pro Health is sodium saccharin. These are complicated chemical formulas (or as chemists say "formulae."), as are the formulas of all of the ingredients of each brand of toothpaste; but just know this: the formula of nitroglycerin is C₃H₅(NO₃)₃. When you combine glycerol and sodium saccharin and you add a little heat by brushing vigorously, the glycerol and the sodium saccharin react, with the ... well, this is boring, but the hydroxyl ions in the glycerol break off and the nitrogen ions and some oxygen ions from the sodium saccharin combine and -- FLASH, BOOM!!!!

Nitroglycerin! It's almost ELECTRIC!

Posted by Bill at October 9, 2011 04:55 PM