October 27, 2009
The Bee
The temperature approached 70 yesterday afternoon, which causes weird things to occur in nature. Nature rebels against the unnatural. We did not experience the typical sustained spells of hot, muggy weather during the summer, likely a result of global warming and our close proximity to a vast freshwater lake. Soon enough, this will be the preferred destination of vacationers seeking a year-long temperate climate with many amenities, including museums, such as the International Women's Air & Space Museum, world-class entertainment, such as The Cleveland Playhouse, culinary excellence, seedy bars, lush golf courses, sport fishing and sailing on Lake Erie, romantic river cruises, and exploring national, state, and local forested parks.
But yesterday, with dusk beginning to blanket the landscape, heading east on St. Clair Avenue, the dogs and I, no doubt because of global warming, encountered, ferociously fought, and mortally wounded a giant, Food-of-the-Gods-like bumblebee.
This overhead photo was taken from a police helicopter. You may, if you view the photo microscopically, see Bella the Boxer near the rear left leg of the monster.
October 25, 2009
Bridge Problems
I have not used the I-90 Innerbelt Bridge that spans the Cuyahoga River and connects with I-71 and I-77 for the last four years. It is one of the heaviest traveled routes in the area.
The load limit of the bridge was reduced. Trucks and busses were banned early this year from the bridge. Some entrance and exit ramps have been closed. It is the same design as the bridge that collapsed in Minneapolis. Parts of the bridge, parts which hold it all together, have been repaired.
The problem with avoiding traveling on that bridge is that a couple routes take me under the bridge.
My friends think I am a lunatic. I ask, "Is it safe?" And they look at me like I'm drilling Dustin Hoffman's teeth in "Marathon Man."
So, I took these pictures while everyone was sleeping last weekend. Last night, I witnessed more of the same.
They are cutting apart the bridge.
Is it safe?
October 19, 2009
Awful Horror
The dogs decided to take a hike across the Detroit-Superior Bridge, which, until the high fences were erected, was a suicide hot spot with jumpers regularly plummeting into the murky water of the Cuyahoga River about 130 feet below.
About halfway across, a bus roared by. On the side of the bus was a long sign: "7 Floors of HELL" And then, just below that scariness: "Some Houses Scare You ... 7 Floors of Hell Will Mess You Up For Life!"
I checked around. I found "7 Floors of combined terror" at the "36th class reunion" of The Haunted Schoolhouse and The Haunted Laboratory. That's a good reason to miss the class reunion this year.
"ArE YOU aFRAID OF CLOWNS?" is the header for the Carnival of Horrors with its three haunted houses on the grounds of the secluded, summer home of the staid Cleveland Orchestra, Blossom Music Center.
And for 19 terrifying years, or so it claims, Rockin'-R-Ranch has presented a
Bigger, better, and longer than in the previous 27 years of fear and not recommended for children under the age of 10, especially if they are not wearing proper shoes, is the Haunted Forest of Carousel. Free babysitting is provided, by the way.
With "NO MASKS! NO SCRIPTS!" is the grand-daddy of all horror-filled Halloween season frightfests in the area -- BLOODVIEW featuring the minions of the Legion of Terror and the Vampire Weekend. Visa and Mastercard are accepted. And, just so you know, this place advertises that it has been "named one of the safest houses in Ohio for fire safety."
In the town of Bolivar is The Stalker Haunted Corn Maze open Friday and Saturday evenings, with a "'creepy' hayride on the 'eerie' canal." The maize maze is an amazing 3 haunted acres.
On October 30th, you can be a part of history at "Thriller Night @ The Agora" and get into the Guinness Book of World Records by dancing to "Thriller" at the world famous Cleveland Agora Theater & Ballroom ... if you're into that kind of stuff. And if you're not aFRAID OF CLOWNS, the Insane Clown Posse appears at the Agora on October 22 ... if you're into that kind of stuff.
October 13, 2009
AMAN and a Truck
We were driving on Interstate 90 and saw this truck going west:
October 11, 2009
Alien Communications
Scout stopped to check out a new message from visiting aliens, who are obviously trying to re-establish communications with their Earthly canine descendants.
The markings on the sidewalks and streets simply appear. It is as is the alien beings who make the markings, lines, arrows, squiggles, and other marks, wait until no human can witness -- or erase the memories of those humans who have seen them.
On a more somber note, I stopped at a high-end cake-cookie shop in a trendy neighborhood. The person on the left side of the blog wanted a sugar cookie; so, I stopped to get a sugar cookie. And I expected to pay a lot relative to the price of a grocery store's in-store bakery sugar cookies because the sugar cookies at the high-end place are meticulously decorated.
The sign told me the cookies were $2.50 to $4. Now, I'm in the trendy neighborhood with high-priced cookies. It would be gauche to ask, "Which ones are $2.50?" especially with another customer waiting impatiently to pick up a huge custom cake for her daughter's 8th birthday party.
Really, "Can I get my cake?" she asked snootily. The way she looked at me, I thought I was looking down the black holes of a double-barreled shotgun that would eventually suck the life out of me. The owner told her it was ready.
"Don't shoot," I thought to myself and smiled. "Almost done here, m'am," I tried to say politely.
"You don't have to take that tone with me," she pointed out.
That tone. I didn't understand what kind of tone I was using, except that I did not accede to her desire. Sorry.
The cookies -- I got two -- were $5. I picked out the cheap ones, as it turned out. The big ghost-shaped cookies must have been $4. For that price, the cookies should have been the best tasting cookies ever. They were pumpkin-shaped and very nicely decorated jack-o-lanterns, but the cookies were not tasty, buttery sugar cookies. The grocery store pumpkin-shaped sugar cookies are much, much cheaper, would have served just as well, and would have gone down easier.
October 04, 2009
Joc-O-Sot, Dead Guy
They wanted to go out this morning. They had been out at 3:15 this morning. I tried to dissuade them at that time, but Boxers are called that because they jab almost as effectively as Muhammad Ali in his prime; and there was no way to delay them until morning. On the positive side, they waited until 8 to give me the look:
On a normal Sunday morning, nobody is on the streets; but this morning the dogs were not harassing me at 5:45, and festivities were already in full swing because the Browns would be hosting their hated arch-rival, the Cincinnati Bengals, at 1 p.m. The tailgate and tent parties had started; the grills were heating up, and the beer was flowing.
We took a walk, ending up on the street originally named Erie Street and the Erie Street Cemetery, which was, like in most bigger cities, once located on the fringe of the City and is now in the heart of it. The Ontario Street Cemetery succumbed to urban expansion and the inhabitants of the cemetery were moved to the present site in 1826. The first permanent settlers of Cleveland, Lorenzo Carter and his wife, Rebekah, are buried here, just inside this gate, across the street from the Jake, now known officially as Progressive Field. The gravestones are unreadable and were replaced by a granite marker.
More interesting than the granite Carter marker is the gravestone of the Sauk Chief Joc-O-Sot, who came to Cleveland from the wilderness that later was named Iowa, after fighting in the Black Hawk War. He tried to earn money for his tribe by conducting hunting and fishing expeditions in the area. He never made it back to his homeland, died in Cleveland, and remains interred here in the Erie Street Cemetery.
There are other once-famous and once-influential people buried here, not as many as in Lakeview Cemetery, in which President James A. Garfield and John D. Rockefeller are buried, which is located a bit further to the east.
The dogs did not desecrate any graves during the making of this blog post.
October 02, 2009
Center Street Swing Bridge
King Iron Bridge & Manufacturing Co. re-built the Center Street Swing Bridge over the Cuyahoga River in 1900. The bridge is still operational and the dogs and I headed over to the West Bank of the Flats this afternoon across the bridge. The pedestrian walkway is solid, so as not to freak out the dogs or me.
It's bad enough that the river is down below and that at any time the alarm will be sounded and the bridge will start a-swinging to let river traffic through with me still on the bridge, making me lose my balance and fall into the river below, dragging the dogs over the railing with me. It could happen, you know. It's possible. Don't laugh.
We made it across, encountering a smashed car audio system -- all I know is that it wasn't an 8-track player. I'm still on the look-out for the stolen 8-track that was subsequently stolen from my '68 Nova, the metallic, light-blue one with the racing stripes. One day, I will find you. Oh, sorry -- we also encountered a dead sea gull -- or Lake Erie gull, to be exact, which was fucking huge. A lot more in the way of guts than I thought there would be from watching them flying around. I couldn't get a picture, what with three dogs, the beagle mostly, trying to investigate the carnage, or so it seemed.
Once across, we walked in the park along the river, from which there is a view of downtown to the east.
The problem with taking the route which we took is that there are only a few ways back across the river, all of which are a long walk; so, we were obliged to return the way we came, over the bridge, passing the fowl carcass, hurrying this time so that the dogs couldn't smell death in the air.
IPHONE!
test posting from my iPhone. don't hate me cuz I have the coolest phone EVER.