November 07, 2003

Crisis of Major Proportion

I was going to complain about George Bush the Lesser, again; but something has come up.

I don't know what to do. The time to hesitate is through. No time to wallow in the mire. It's time for drastic measures.

I CAN'T FIND THE CLICKER!

It was here last night. Then it was gone. I had to get up out of bed and turn off the television BY HAND. Ohmydog! This is a crisis of major proportion. Not only is my peace of mind and sedentary life style at stake, my very existence could be in jeopardy. Nothing in my marriage vows said anything about "clicker or no clicker," except that the minister was from West Virginia or Serbia because we couldn't understand a word he said. I hope that was part of it -- if not, she could kill me and get away with it.

[Scene: Judge Lynett Smith's court room.
Stacey, how do you plead to the charge of murder in the first degree?
Your Honor, he lost the clicker.
That rat bastard asshole -- case dismissed!]

Jackson -- my son -- he laughed when I asked for his help. He said that I was on my own. He said, "Hey, I got my clicker."

And the dogs -- they won't even talk to me.

-----------------------
Aside to George: I heard you like Hemingway. Then follow his advice:

Never think that war, no matter how necessary, nor how justified, is not a crime.

Posted by Bill at November 7, 2003 12:31 PM
Comments

the NEW clicker???!!!

Posted by: stacey at November 7, 2003 12:40 PM

Reading along feeling bad for Billy...

opening the comments wondering who had posted and what was said...

Reading Stacey's comment and totally spewing my water all over everything on the desk...

wild raucous laughter in my house. Good thing nobody else (but the dog) is home. Dog thinks I have gone insane, but that is okay. Thanks for the stress release from my NaNo this morning, Stacey. It's been great...

Poor Billy.

Posted by: Crazy Girl at November 7, 2003 02:08 PM

Not you too, Bill! What is it about guys and remotes? Howard is as bad as the Hunter and he's just a kid.

Posted by: TW at November 7, 2003 04:27 PM

A crisis indeed! When the one in my bedroom goes awry, it's always under the edge of the bed, hiding behind the dust ruffle.

Don't you think clickers should have a pager feature like the cordless phones?

Posted by: Jennifer at November 7, 2003 06:15 PM

My bedroom clicker has been broken all week. Damnit. To make matters worse, when I couldn't sleep last nite, and kept getting up to find something to watch, it dawned on me!


Check the friggin batteries you moron!! LOL I felt so stupid and I can't believe I just confessed my airheadedness! ;P

Posted by: kathy at November 7, 2003 10:14 PM

This must be a MALE thing.

Posted by: Anji at November 8, 2003 01:16 AM

WTF is a clicker?

Posted by: Kathy Howe at November 8, 2003 09:19 AM