On the fiftieth anniversary of the arguments before the Supreme Court in the Brown v. Board of Education cases, in which the attorney for the Topeka, Kansas, Board of Education, in a tour de force performance admired by the Oscar people to this day, actually broke down and cried for the little black boys and girls who would never be able to compete with the white children if there was integration of the races in public schools, Stacey pointed out that the Supreme Court refused to take the appeal of a record company, thereby allowing 90-year-old civil rights activist Rosa Parks to maintain her suit against LaFace Records and the group, Outkast, over the hit song, Rosa Parks.
Shit. She might sue me for using her name here.
So, it seems that we are talking about really, really stupid legal stuff; so, how about that Doug Baker. He’s claiming that because he consulted a white witch and four psychics and spent 20 g’s in doing so to find his lost dog, he should be able to recover $160,000 from his dog-sitter. Oh, let’s not forget that Baker’s lawyer, Geordie Duckler, nobly hopes to redefine personal property laws. The only personal property that Geordie wants to redefine is the cash in his pocket from a settlement.
And Geordie – you are obviously an ambulance chaser of some repute out there in Oregon. Why not try to expand your sphere of influence on a global scale? There’s a woman in Spain who gave a pay phone the finger after she lost her money who will need your services. The pay phone retaliated and would not let her finger go, an obvious defect in the product. Perhaps, you can ring the bell on this one, too. She surely suffered a permanent loss of the use of her middle finger and will suffer immeasurable economic and psychological losses because her ability to drive her car and signal to others will be grossly impaired.
Is it any wonder people think lawyers are assholes?
Posted by Bill at December 8, 2003 03:15 PMNope, no wonder at all. Still, who are all those people who hire the lawyers. Oh-oh, this could go 'round and 'round like that chicken/egg conundrum.
Posted by: Philip at December 9, 2003 12:08 AMi'm getting emotionally distressed just from reading this post ... my lawyer will contact you shortly.
Posted by: tj at December 9, 2003 10:27 AMPHILIP: THANK YOU! exactly what i always say. exactly. there are asshole lawyers, doctors, teachers, priests, postal workers, insurance agents, etc., etc.
don't get me started. maybe bill will tell you about the girl who came to him because when she tried on a too-small pair of jeans, she zipped up her belly and cut it. according to her, that was the store's fault, and she should be paid for her pain and suffering. hrmmm.
Posted by: stacey at December 9, 2003 10:34 AMGET THE F--K OUT!
If you can sue over the zipper cut; I think Bill should sue her because she wasted his valuable time with a stupid ass idiot claim!
People make me ashamed... all freaking time!
-d
Posted by: -d at December 9, 2003 03:37 PM