December 17, 2003

Tank Tops and Chains

To: Guy With Problem With Metal Detector

I couldn't help but notice that you were having a problem getting past the metal detector at the Justice Center. The machine you were trying to walk through detects metal. The large medallion around your neck and outside of your tight-fitting tank top is METAL.

To: Uniformed Guy Guarding Entrance of Justice Center

The machine that people walk through is a metal detector. It beeps loudly when it detects metal. The large medallion around the neck of the man wearing the tight-fitting tank top is METAL. It’s a wonder that the hand-held metal detector allowed you to discover it and determine that the medallion was, indeed, made of metal.

Sending the guy back and forth through the metal detector five times does not TRANSMUTE the metal to another form undetectable by the metal detector.

Posted by Bill at December 17, 2003 07:23 PM
Comments

"Give me your boots, your clothes, and your
motorcycle."

that's the first thing that came to mind. second was some Matrixy

Posted by: mark at December 17, 2003 08:51 PM

lmao...transmuting.

Posted by: Matt at December 17, 2003 11:31 PM

Checkout counters to metal detectors, I think you have covered my two biggest gripes so far this season. I swear Mal-Wart waits until there are 5 people in line then shuts another register down. 35 reigisters at the front of the store, only 5 of them are open lines are at least 15 deep at all registers and there seem to be an awful lot of extra emplyees just standing around doing nothing, and they wonder why I am rude!

Posted by: Jeff A at December 18, 2003 12:24 AM

Now can you understand why you are the lawyer and they have no-brain-required jobs?

Posted by: Michelle at December 18, 2003 05:02 AM

*removes large metal medallion*

Posted by: tj at December 18, 2003 09:37 AM

As an IT professional I believe I can clarify the situation. We have a simple version conflict ...

Uniformed Guy Guarding Entrance of Justice Center - uggJunc v1.0 - 'the server' sees variable 'medallion' to be equal to value 'medal' ... any reference to value 'metal' is discarded in accordance with security patch ozzy8.bat and reset to value 'medal' in order to interface with the ubiquitous IMaHr0.dll

meanwhile ...

Guy With Problem With Metal Detector - gwpMed v0.014 (obviously still in beta) functions as a simple client (simple being an operand as well as a value judgement) and garners variable assignment from the server uggJunc v1.0

The server is programatically unable to supply the value 'metal' due to the security patch (don't ask .. it's a Microsft thing) mentioned. The client is unable to obtain the value independently due to the aforementioned 'simpleness' and voila ... thrashing and system lock.

I live to serve.

Posted by: Brother Grimm at December 18, 2003 10:49 PM

ROTFL

Posted by: Joel at December 19, 2003 06:14 PM