Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Dear Ms. Richwine:

I read your article about poultry antibiotics with much interest. Thank you for bringing to light a scientific fact that remains hidden in the dark recesses of the scientific broom closet.

It is not often that a reporter correspondent has the courage to reveal such information and make it available to those of us who are trying to convince skeptical scientists. For more years than I can count, I have been trying to convince not only physicians, but also veterinarians, and their colleagues in the medical and scientific community that my theory is sound and not absurd. I have attempted on many occasions to test my hypothesis, but I do not have access to the financial means nor do I have the scientific backing to do so.

Now, because of you, I will not be required to do so, except that I see much room for research into the quantitative aspect of the problem. I have been turned down for grant money time and time again by the Centers for Disease Control, National Science Foundation, and other non-profit research-oriented donors.

Although the Department of Defense was initially very interested in my hypothesis and did fund some preliminary research while George H. W. Bush was President, that funding was dramatically terminated when Clinton took office. You may have read about it. Since you have unquestionably verified the qualitative aspect of the problem, I believe that I will now be able to get funding from George Bush the Lesser to quantify something at which the skeptical scientific community has heartily laughed.

It will be a difficult task to figure out a workable test to determine the level of intelligence of the Campylobacter bacteria, but now that you have confirmed that "bacteria learn" and "outsmart" those pesky scientists using antibiotics on chickens, I am sure that I will be able to quantify the intelligence of these magnificent organisms.

Thank you again.

Remaining germ-free,