October 03, 2007

Bread Winner

Apparently, I have not been doing a very good job slicing loaves of bread. I suppose that there is some kind of technique taught somewhere. But the problem is that one person's perpendicular cut through a loaf of bread might not be the same as another's; so, I slice the bread what I think is perpendicular to the cutting board. I'm pretty careful about it.

Careful in slicing perpendicular, that is; but I have, of late, also successfully avoided cutting off my fingers, for the most part. But you know how it is -- I end up eventually slicing at like an angle so that the slices come out even and then the rest of the loaf looks like this:
bread.jpg

So, I was looking at some websites. All the advice mentions that the cutter must be sure the blade of the knife is perpendicular to the cutting surface. Gee, who knew?? Fucking amazing. So, I tried to make sure about the perpendicularity of the situation; and here's what I got:
sc025080ae.jpg

Perpendiculous.

Posted by Bill at October 3, 2007 10:55 AM
Comments

Hey! Bill's drawing again! I love Bill's draw... er oh ew... OUCH.

Shit.

Posted by: Keri at October 3, 2007 02:18 PM

Makes a change from butter.

Cutting bread is one of the few things I do well, I came from a big family.

Posted by: Anji at October 4, 2007 09:28 AM

Yeah, well you know of course that I meant - "Oh NO! I'm so sorry that you've cut yourself. I hope you got that tip tossed into the garbage before anyone ate it. Or if it was large enough, surgically reattached in time before it died or whatever." That's what the expletive meant. That and "Uh oh. Bill's handling dangerous objects again." ;)

Smooches to my favorite internet people...

Posted by: Keri at October 4, 2007 09:01 PM

My dad cut the tip of his finger off in a kitchen knife-cutting board incident, and those kindly docs over at the ER sewed it right back on.

Of course, it was a military hospital, and the fingertip didn't get sewn on quite straight, and it's a little cattywampus, but I'm sure those docs at the Cleveland Clinic can get yours sewn on relatively straight.

Maybe a bread slicing machine might be a good idea?

Posted by: lucy at October 5, 2007 11:48 AM

Italians believe slicing bread with a knife is bad luck-guess your little illustrated story gives a good reason why-try breaking the bread-better luck that way :o)

Posted by: Heather Z at October 6, 2007 05:15 AM