I haven't been to a movie theater since The Who at Kilburn, 1977. Okay, that was a month ago, not 1977; but it wasn't really a movie, either. So, Friday, I was looking at the movie listings and the brief reviews in the "Friday" section, which is part of the Friday edition of the newspaper because I thought that maybe my lovely wife would like to take in a movie on the big screen.
We are going to see Frost/Nixon, the play, in a couple weeks; so, why ruin that by seeing the movie and finding out the ending. That would be a bad thing. And Milk is supposed to be pretty good, I hear. And then I got to thinking -- What the fuck? See. That's what I was thinking.
These movies actually happened in real life -- during my life -- what the fuck? That's what I was thinking.
I mean, it's not like this stuff happened before the turn of the century -- well, I guess this stuff did happen before the turn of the last century, but I mean the one before that. I mean-- what's going on here? This isn't like Forrest Gump -- you know, fiction. What the fuck? That's what I was thinking.
Forrest Gump -- that was like, ho -- ly cow, back in 1994 when I saw that, back before the turn of the century. What the fuck? That's what I was thinking.
All this existential crap was just too much for me right then and there; so, I checked out the mini-reviews -- of the movies that don't deal with fucking ancient history, so to speak. Slumdog Millionaire, graded A -- hmmm -- Oscar contender, for sure, says the reviewer. Sounds interesting. The Reader, graded A -- hmmm -- touching, superbly well-acted, says the reviewer. Playing at only one theater -- it'll be too crowded. The Spirit, graded D -- ouch -- "bizarre and not in a good way," says the reviewer. Samuel L. Jackson -- looking for invincibility, again; but no Bruce Willis. Yes Man, graded D -- Jim Carrey? Lackluster? Lame, says the reviewer? No way, can't be; but maybe, the TV commercial shows all the funniest parts, in which case, lackluster, lame.
The Day the Earth Stood Still, graded C, says the reviewer; rated PG-13 "for the annihilation of New York." Well, let the cat out of the bag on that one. Killing 8 million people gets a PG-13. If one of the witnesses said "Jesus -- Fucking -- Christ" while watching the annihilation of New York, it would have been rated R. Why re-make a good movie -- and change it?
Brad Pitt -- I like Brad Pitt -- The Curious Case of Benjamin Button -- born old and ages backward, hmmm -- "travels Forrest Gump-like through the 20th Century," says the reviewer.
What the fuck? That's what I was thinking.
Posted by Bill at December 28, 2008 11:07 AMJohn and I went to the 4:00 matinee yesterday to see the Benjamin Button. I can't remember any quotes so I guess there wasn't a stupid is as stupid does or those look like comfortable shoes. Mostly all I can remember is my butt hurt like hell about 15 (could've been 30) minutes before the end.
Posted by: Vicki at December 28, 2008 04:20 PMThat's what I heard about it. looooong. You didn't give us the grade for that one. Which did you see? Any? None?
HBB and I keep talking about going to see a movie. And then we don't. But we laughed our butts off watching MST3K's covering of Laserblast (if we didn't have a more comfortable viewing experience at home perhaps we'd find a theater more appealing).
Posted by: Keri at December 29, 2008 04:54 PM