Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Do We Need More Storage?

Wow! Bush is finally gone. Now, let's move on to more important things.

The last vestige of life in the old house sits in the "living room." It's a big armoire purchased from one of those urban design stores that went out of business -- or maybe it's from another place; it was so long ago. Inside the armoire is The TV-That-Will-Change-Your-Life, the one with the 42-inch plasma-ion drive screen, which promised to take us places where no man has gone before.

There's a large drawer below the doors accessing The TV-That-Will-Change-Your-Life, where I keep some office supplies. And inside the doors above the TV is a tiny shelf -- I keep a blanket there, along with the Turner Construction hard hat, so that when Stacey wants to be covered up while sitting in her leather chair with her feet up on the matching footstool thing that I have to push in just the right amount so that her artificial knees are not bent at unnatural angles, compromising the integrity of the artificial joint spaces, I can just grab the blanket, dusky green in color, and drape it over her and tuck it in at just the right places, making sure that she has access to the clicker that is invariably on the right armrest, so she can watch her judge shows, all of her judge shows, two of which are on different channels simultaneously, requiring her to switch back and forth so she can figure out which litigants will be more amusing (I don't know if there is a picture within a picture function because I never read the instructions, but the conversation hasn't come up; so, I don't talk about it). And the hard hat -- well, that's obvious, isn't it?

The old armoire isn't quite fitting in, except to hide the fucking huge, ostentatious television. As I understand it, however, because I don't get out much, a lot of people have televisions this big and bigger in practically every room of their homes; so, as a consequence, I shouldn't feel too uncomfortable about it. There is a reason for it, though -- The TV-That-Will-Change-Your-Life, I mean -- imagine having to read the score of the [fill in name of sport] game every single time someone scores because the person sitting the same distance away from or, oftentimes, several fathoms closer to the 12-inch screen can't read the graphical scoring line. And it's basketball season. That's a lot of reading.

So, there's no question that the old armoire is going. The question is what replaces it. Something with drawers -- for more storage. That was the conclusion. Now, I didn't decide that; but I, because that's just the way it is, go along with the conclusion. And mount the TV on the wall above the something with drawers. I've been looking for something with drawers, like a beat-to-hell, old, squarish, black dresser or something like that, but new. For storage. She mentioned IKEA -- and that could mean a road trip to a city where an IKEA is located.

In any event, that was the plan. I say that was the plan because there might be a new plan. I received an e-mail. The subject line -- ?. That's all, just a question mark. The body of the e-mail was simply a link: http://www.realflame.com/product.html?catagory=indoors&itemcode=3900&finish=black.

Yes, that's a fireplace. No drawers. Change of plan, maybe?

My reply: I thought you wanted storage. We could, of course, burn the stuff.

There is a very important unasked question that I dare not voice: Where will I keep my hard hat?

Posted by Bill at January 20, 2009 05:35 PM