My e-mail box was flooded with many thousands of complaints about this time last year, necessitating the hiring of several dozen individuals to help with responding. I will not be remiss this year by failing to tell you that the Bassmasters Classic, the 39th incarnation, is being held February 20 - 22 on the Red River in Louisiana. I don't know what tickets cost to watch the bass fishing competitors. I think you need a boat to do that.
I did some checking. The average depth of the places the bass will be biting is 16 to 19 feet deep. That's a bad thing -- can't stand on the bottom with head above water. Also, there's the bass -- live things swimming in the water. And it's called Red River for a reason -- red clay from upstream colors the water -- can't see the bottom. That means I won't be out there following my favorite bass master.
I've never watched professional bass fishing. I suppose it's pretty exciting watching people fish all day long for 3 days for the $500,000 first prize. I suppose that amount of money might cause some fishermen to try to gain a competitive advantage. Perhaps, as in baseball with the steroid scandal, bass fishermen juice their jigheads. I'm wondering if some of those bass fishermen are using Bad Mother Flipping hooks ... and jerkbait.
I've looked at the rules. Nothing prohibits torpedoes. Sinking other boats is not prohibited, especially if nobody is looking. Who's going to know? Just look at what that shark did to the boat in Jaws and to its captain. Fish and other sea creatures are capable of anything ... and remember that girl, the one swimming out by the buoy, alone -- she couldn't stand up with her head above water; she couldn't see the bottom; there were live things in the water. See?
Bass fishing -- way more dangerous than you can imagine.
Posted by Bill at February 13, 2009 11:58 PM