January 27, 2011

I Want to Hook Up With Your God

I don't really like to talk about religion because I think it's a private thing. So, I don't like when I get assaulted by the proselytizers seeking to convince me that theirs is the right way, whether it's in print, on television, or live and in person while I have a towel on and shaving cream on my face because they wouldn't stop banging on the fucking door.

But I have finally succumbed. How did that happen? Me? Yup. What kind of mind-altering, brain-washing drugs did they pump into you after they kidnapped you, you ask? And I agree that it is shocking.

And it was subtle. I was driving on I-90. I was passing a car. A license plate frame. It said, "Another Blessing From GOD." On a fancy Volvo.

Yes! That GOD is a materialistic freak. Gimme some of that! Where do I sign up?

Then I figured that the person must be a Calvinist. Oh, well. I'll just resign myself to being damned and spending eternity in Hell without any hope at all of mercy and any break at all from the extreme tortures meted upon the damned.

Go figure.

Posted by Bill at January 27, 2011 10:24 AM
Comments

Please tell your God that I want a new 2011 Durango.

Thank you.

Posted by: KathyHowe at January 27, 2011 12:21 PM

And I'll take something shiny and new that runs great and takes us beyond the 200k mark again. We're about to reach that on this 99 Landcruiser and I'm afeerd that it won't go another 100k as much as I'd like it to.

4wd isn't an option in these parts, thank you. (I'm even asking with a thankful heart which from my old biblical learning days was a necessity... if I remember correctly.)

Posted by: Keri at January 27, 2011 04:54 PM

LOL. I'd like an auto that works to get me where I need to go from one day to the next...perhaps in a navy blue; perhaps another jeep sport. Just make it work is all.

Posted by: tracy at January 28, 2011 09:33 PM

It doesn't work if you try to impersonate Janis Joplin

Posted by: Anji at January 31, 2011 12:24 PM