June 24, 2011
The Artist Formerly Known As ...
That's Mr. World Peace to you, Chief. No hyphen.
Fucker stole my name. And it took me so long to think it up. Gotta start at square one, I guess.
June 13, 2011
<----- This Is What She Would Blog Today
LeBron James, the Whore of Akron (thank you, Scott Raab), said, "All the people that were rooting me on to fail, at the end of the day they have to wake up tomorrow and have the same life they had before. They have the same personal problems they had today. i'm going to continue to live the way I want to live and continue to do the things that I want with me and my family and be happy with that."
I'm still waiting for the misery to kick in, Lebron. But thanks for the heads-up. It's good to know you got my back.
Fuck you.
June 08, 2011
Mail Time!
I was excited when I saw a white envelope in the mailbox -- MAIL! Wow, I couldn't wait to see who sent me a letter! A letter ... it validates my existence. I matter. It gets depressing, putting the key in the little mailbox, anticipating what surprises might come, hopes being dashed.
So, this was pretty cool. And then ... well, it wasn't for me. I was crushed.
Matt has never lived here. How could the Admissions Center make such an error over there at Kaplan Career Institute?
But my day brightened.
Ms. Sarah Benko
Director of Admissions
Kaplan Career Institute Cleveland
8720 Brookpark Road
Brooklyn, OH 44129
Dear Ms. Benko,
You cannot imagine the excitement in seeing a white envelope in my mailbox. It is not often that I get a letter.
But my excitement turned to utter disappointment, bordering on depression, actually, because the letter was not addressed to me, but to Matthew L*****, who has never resided at this address.
I took it upon myself to contact Matthew to find out if I should forward him the letter to his office at an east coast university, at which he is Associate Professor of Computer Science and Engineering, a position he has held since he graduated from The Ohio State University with a Ph.D. in Computer Science & Engineering two years ago.
I am sorry to inform you that he told me that he was not interested in attending Kaplan Career Institute at this time and to take his name off your mailing list. I hope you will accede to his wish.
He appreciates the personal note you sent to him and indicated, regrettably, that he will not fill out your survey (online or by mail).
And he told me not to forward the letter to him.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Sincerely,
Bill
