Nothing But Love :: golf blogger

Cell Phones

Dear Alarmists:

According to the World Health Organization, which made the announcement today, the radio waves emitted by cell phones are "possibly carcinogenic to humans."

Don't call me. Possibly ever again.

Possibly radioactively yours,

Bill

What Is Cleveland.com?

I decided to "Browse" the Metro Section "Summer Guide" this afternoon. I thought (and I must admit that on second thought, how stupid could I be to actually expect some useful information on Cleveland.com -- it is supposed to be a site about Cleveland and have news and articles from the Cleveland Plain Dealer, which doesn't have its own website, which is pretty strange) I could check to see what's going on this Summer in the "Summer Guide" to, perhaps, plan my Summer.

Here is what I found:

See that first entry about the 114th Cuyahoga County Fair?

That was last year.

The article is dated August 10, 2010.

Are you kidding me, Cleveland.com?

Personal Trainer

You might be familiar with the fact that I employed a personal trainer, who, like me, is a lunatic. He is pretty upset with me because every day he has been coming -- he has switched the day he's coming on very short notice, just so he can execute his evil plans for me -- it has been raining or cold.

He can't take me outside to work out on the hill next to the building.

I've come to know this guy. "Work out on the hill" does not necessarily mean running up and down the hill. That would be too easy.

He is diabolical, I tell you. And I broke one of his prized personal training accessories -- his heavy duty blue bungee cord-like device with handles. He made me try to walk sideways with it, like shuffling to the right and shuffling to the left, something about exercising muscles by the hips. Yeah, whatever. So, I tried to shuffle to the right -- it was hard to do, but I did it. The thing snapped -- TWANG! -- almost hit him. I think he thinks I did it on purpose. Like the weather thing. Like I said, he's a lunatic.

Anyway, I'm thinking that a lunatic won't make me simply run up the hill. What I am prepared for is a run up the hill, yes, but also, climbing up the side of the building to the roof.

I noticed a scaffold at the top of the building yesterday. We'll see.

Faux Watch

I took a break from work -- actually, I was looking up a word at the Dictionary.com site and found an ad for men's watches on the right side of the webpage. Naturally, I had to click on the ad to take the side trip to Overstocked.com to check out the watches.

I found an interesting ad for the Geneva Platinum Men's Simulated Leather Strap Watch.

I have read the ad several times. This is, I believe, a fake watch with a fake leather band to be worn as a fashion accessory.

A Visit to Starbucks

I'm sitting in Starbucks. I told the guy sitting 25 feet from me that he was talking very loud on the phone and disturbing me. I was polite. I didn't call him any names or threaten him in any way. Really. I was nice. I said "Excuse me" and "sir" and was being all proper.

He told the person on the other end of his phone call that he had to go. How do I know that? Because he was talking as if he had a can on a string and the other person was in Cincinnati.

He looked at me through his thick glasses, grey goatee moving as he spoke, and asked me what my problem was. I said that he was talking inappropriately loud on the phone and disturbing my concentration, as I was working on my United States Supreme Court brief in opposition to certiorari. Okay. That Supreme Court thing was a lie, but he was really loud and pissing me off.

He told me that I should go to "Sylvian" Learning Center across the road.

I didn't have a comeback for that non sequitur.

He kept rambling about how I wasn't being polite or a good citizen.

I ignored him. He kept talking. Finally, I told him that I wasn't engaging in any further conversation with him. He stopped talking, but not before he told me that "Sylvian" Learning Center would help me.

I should have choked him.

Radiation

I gave the Jackal a lift this morning and saw a sign in the window of one of the establishments in his neighborhood.

It's very nice that the merchant offers an installment plan. Many might say that the merchant is taking advantage of the gullibility of the American public with all the hubbub about radiation from the Japan nuclear reactor failure spreading across the planet. And they would be correct.

But much closer is the Davis-Besse Nuclear Power Plant operated by FirstEnergy, which nearly failed in 2002 because the lid of the containment vessel had corroded to the extent that failure of the plant was imminent. FirstEnergy agreed to pay huge fines instead of criminal prosecution. The plant's license to operate is up for renewal in 2017.

More recently, the plant's entire emergency shutdown system was rendered inoperable when a control room worker used his walkie-talkie to contact another worker in the plant.

So, maybe I should go on the installment plan.