Wife: Do you like tomato soup?
Husband: No.
Wife: Why not?
Husband: There's something about drinking hot ketchup ... can't do it.
Wife: It tastes nothing like ketchup.
Husband: Ri-i-i-i-ight.
Wife: You don't know what you're missing.
Husband: Really.
Wife: Yeah, grilled cheese and tomato soup. There's nothing like that. Like brownies and milk.
Husband: Aaaah, I see. No, thanks. I'm not falling for that one.
bill changed the picture in the banner from one i found on the internet to one that he took today. i think it's a nicer picture.
sadly, we felt we had to change from our old white beetle banner because we turned the beetle back in (lease was over). when we did that we made a couple decisions that i hope we can stick to (to which i hope we can stick). 1. no more new cars. sick of buying new cars every 5 years (or leasing them). ridiculous waste of money. only buying used cars from now on. so we bought a camry. couple years old. looks great. mucho miles. runs great. cheap, cheap, cheap. 2. we're gonna stay with only one car from now on. silly to have 2 cars in the city. we've done it for a couple years now, and it's worked out fine. but we weren't committed to the idea. now we are.
i'm sure we'll put a who sticker and peace symbol on the "new" camry.
i'm POSITIVE bill will be writing about future adventures in the black camry with the who sticker and peace symbol.
*if this doesn't make any sense to you, don't worry. it's kind of a long story. you know what it's like when you're new to a blog.
Because I try to keep my two or three regular readers apprised of the latest developments in PHYSICS, quantum mechanics, to be specific, I know that I drive away those infrequent visitors who come to the right half of this website (the left half if you're looking out) looking for the usual porn and golf-related advice; but that's the price I pay for not catering to the masses.
A few weeks ago, in some big news in the world of physics, a group of quantum mechanics did an experiment and would like us all to believe that they caused six (6) ... that's right, six ... beryllium atoms ... that's right, atoms ... to each spin in both clockwise and counterclockwise directions at the same time.
Yes, you did read that correctly. Close your eyes. Now, imagine Michael Jordan or LeBron James with a basketball on his fingertip, and the basketball is spinning clockwise and counterclockwise at the same time. Go ahead. Just Do It.
Who do these knucklehead physicists think we are, anyway?
But wait, I know that was a bad example. Here's the example the quantum physics guys give so that ordinary mortals might understand this concept: Your cat is in a closed box. You don't know if it's alive or dead before you open up the box. But, in fact, it is, just before you open the box to find out, both alive AND dead at the same time. And then opening the box makes the cat either alive or ... horrors! ... dead.
What kind of fucking stupid example is that? I scratch my fucking bald head and wonder what kind of fucked up education they have had to give such a goddamn stupid example. And cat lovers ... the cat lovers actually believe this kind of crap! These physics guys can't possibly say the same thing about dogs. A dog won't stay in a box like that unless it is dead. Ever try to close up a dog in a box?
We were stopping in Savannah on the way back from Florida ... Matt was at Space Camp, I think ... and I worked a deal at the Radisson for a three bedroom suite for something like 60 bucks (Matt's friends were with us), but we had Betsy, a boxer, with us, and I didn't, chickenshit that I am, ask if we could have a dog with us; so, we parked in the garage and I checked us in, returned to the van and decided to sneak Betsy into the hotel in a large travel bag. Trying to put a dog in a travel bag is something that I will never do again. She kept on sliding away from me and jumping out of my arms as I tried to get her into the proper position to put her in the bag; and she would not be coaxed by doggie treats, either ... she just would not go in the damn bag. One time, she like calmed down a little and I got her two back legs into the bag. Did you ever try to push a steel pole into dry concrete ... that would be easier than trying to push her front legs and head into the bag. She finally gave up, and she was going to let me put her in and zip up the bag, but that was just a dog trick. She stiffened and jumped out. Damn dog!
Stacey, in the meantime, while laughing her ass off along with the boys, called the front desk. Yes, one dog was permitted. Fuckin' shit. You gotta wonder why she didn't call sooner, except she was having too much of a laugh at my expense.
So, dogs don't go in boxes ... unless they're dead.
Okay ... back to the quantum physicists, who obviously do not own dogs ... these scientists want us to believe that they got these 6 particular beryllium atoms spinning in two directions at once ... beryllium, that's not like a fucking huge uranium atom, it's closer in size to ... well, nothing. That's how small it is, it's almost nothing, about half the size of an oxygen atom.
All right, I won't argue with these educated scientists about seeing 6 separate beryllium atoms, let alone seeing them spinning in opposite directions at the same time; but get this, they STOPPED one of the beryllium atoms as it was spinning in opposite directions at once. They stopped the spinning. This is a fucking atom, and they stopped the atom that was spinning in two directions at once. How could they see that?
And guess what happened ... at the very same instant, the other five atoms stopped spinning, too. Whoa!! Mind-blowing. Dude, it's like totally bizarre behavior for a group of atoms, don't you think?
Like I say, they are not dog people.
But that's physics. And they say I'm nuts.
i'm sitting here in my favorite pj flannel pants and my big, warm "who" sweatshirt eating my breakfast (not right this second. right now i'm BLOGGING. bill made me breakfast. two eggs, 2 pieces of toast. he knows i can eat only 1 egg and 1 piece of toast -- i think he does this so i can share the rest with the dogs). i drip yolk on my "who" sweatshirt. crap. can't sit around in this all day now.
i think about my flannel pj bottoms and how they were on the bed last night sweetly folded, waiting for me. which leads me to think about a couple of the best gifts i ever got from bill.
when we were pregnant with matt, bill special ordered a baby spoon to match our silverware.
when i came home from the hospital with baby jax, bill had bought new flannel sheets and all new towels for the bathroom.
let's recap: bill does the laundry. he made me breakfast. he buys the most thoughtful gifts.
i think i'll keep him.
"Intelligence gathered by this and other governments leaves no doubt that the Iraq regime continues to possess and conceal some of the most lethal weapons ever devised." -- W., Address to the Nation, March 17, 2003.
"The program's legal, it's designed to protect civil liberties, and it's necessary. ... There's no doubt in my mind it is legal." W., News Conference, January 26, 2006.
Uhhh, yeah ... no doubt.
geez, doesn't that sound chipper? so much to say, so little motivation.
i don't even have the energy to use my infamous bullets. so here it goes in paragraph form.
new banner picture is our new back yard. our loft is on the top floor of one of those buildings in the picture.
new kitchen picture is up, too. or should be soon. bill's working on a problem with the file size. you like? i don't know how much you can really see, but we love it! and i baked my favorite pound cake recipe in the kitchen. check it out in the "kitchen."
i'm heading back to work wednesday, or else. sick of moping around. i'm trying to be positive -- not entirely succeeding. this latest knee replacement has caused some greater difficulties with my walking. i guess it's what happens when you mix knee replacements with ms deficiencies. i'm working on machines in the work-out room to help this, but it's slow going; and i waiver back and forth DAILY between optimism and total freakout. nuff of this crap.
well i THOUGHT i had a lot to say, but now i'm stuck. and i want a piece of cake.
but hey. i love you guys who've been cheering me on in the comments, with your e-mails, or in your phone calls. i'll be better soon. promise.
but tell me what you think about the new banner! talk to me, people!
I drove by the federal courthouse yesterday morning. A large sign announced that Citizenship Day had arrived. And the sign nearby announced the parking rate for the lot adjacent to the courthouse, which was double the normal daily rate.
A friend said I've been writing with much vitriol of late. And I suppose that's true, but that can change.
That's cool.
May I have your attention: Congress has not declared war.
Why does Bush the Lesser, our eunuch unitary executive, keep implying that it has done so?
"The greatest threat to liberty [is] Democratic Caesarism -- that is, the encroachment of executive power, supported by a drilled and disciplined party that [is] bent on spoils rather than the public good." -- Major L. Wilson, The Presidency of Martin Van Buren, at 197 (1984).
Let's see. "Spoils" is defined as: "Incidental benefits reaped by a winner, especially political patronage enjoyed by a successful party or candidate."
Has anyone other than those disloyal folks on the left wing, obvious enemies of the State, recognized that there is an all-out assault on LIBERTY by those bent on spoils rather than the public good?
Where are the Whigs when we need them?
Restrictions on personal liberty, on the right of free expression of opinion, including freedom of the press; on the rights of assembly and association; and violations of the privacy of postal, telegraphic and telephonic communications and warrants for house searches, orders for confiscations as well as restrictions on property, are also permissible beyond the legal limits otherwise prescribed. -- Emergency Decree for the Protection of the People and the State, Germany, February 27, 1933.
It makes me wonder just how far democracy in America has progressed under our system of three branches of government, in which the President seems to think that he can suspend the operation of laws enacted by Congress, the sole branch authorized to enact laws, as Hitler's lackey, President Paul von Hindenburg did, and interpret them so that the laws have no practical effect, when he has the Constitutional duty to "... take Care that the Laws be faithfully executed ...." That's with a capital "C" in the original, by the way.
Having bored you for far too long, a guy named George Washington, the Father of Our Country, warned in his Farewell Address, stepping away from the presidency even though urged to stay, in 1796: "If ... the distribution or modification of the constitutional powers be in any particular wrong, let it be corrected by an amendment in the way which the Constitution designates. But let there be no change by usurpation; for though this, in one instance, may be the instrument of good, it is the customary weapon by which free governments are destroyed."
There can be no doubt that Bush has usurped Congressional and Judicial power; he has admitted that, and his Vice President makes no bones about wanting more power.
We are on the path to destruction. Many, it seems, have been blinded by the spoils.
With all this talk of Iran and its nuclear program, does anyone care whether the United States launched a spaceship to Pluto to study it. Is it worth it? What could scientists conceivably learn about Pluto 10 years from now that will be helpful in curing this world's ills. Will they find a cure for global warming? It will most likely be too late by then. Will they find life? That's laughable. Will this space flight bring world peace? With luck, after the rocket was inspected for defects once again, it won't explode on lift-off this afternoon, vaporizing 24 pounds of Plutonium-238, the most deadly substance on Earth, turning it into aerosol plutonium dioxide for us to breathe.
Take a whiff ... cancer of the lungs would, most assuredly, be part of your future.
Fuck it, though ... I really want to know about Pluto -- maybe they'll find Plutonium or little green men ... whatever. It's good for the economy. Some scientists needed a job; and since this flight to Pluto will take 10 years, they built in their own job security.
Y'know, it would be a real cool Twilight Zone scenario if like there was a big war and all kinds of destruction and nuclear winter on Earth due to some lame-o president who thought that some god, probably Mars, told him to invade Iraq, Iran, and Syria, then, in 10 years, the probe to Pluto sends back signals that there's an advanced civilization out there on Pluto ... and nobody on Earth can receive the signal.
I fell asleep when the Steelers were beating up the Colts 14 to 3. Just know this ... I hate the Steelers. It's a Steelers -- Browns thing. It goes back to John Henry Johnson running wild for 200 yards on a warm October night, as I listened to the game on WHK, 1420 on the radio dial, and the Steelers decimating the superior, Jim-Brown-led Cleveland Browns. It was a massacre and molded my whole world view. I hate the Steelers.
So, Stacey woke me up after Jerome Bettis fumbled at the goal line with a minute left, the score being 21 to 18, Pittsburgh leading.
I know what you're thinking, but this development sucked big time, of course, because I was rooting for the Steelers. I hate the Steelers, but I was rooting for them. It's not that I hate the Colts more, either, except that I dislike Peyton Manning, not that Peyton Manning has ever done anything to make me dislike him, but his father made such a big fucking deal about Peyton's contract and who he would and wouldn't play for ... that's why I can't stand Peyton Manning, but the Colts, they're okay. It's that I hate the fucking Broncos. And the winner of the Steelers -- Colts game would be playing the Broncos next week. So, I was rooting for the Steelers to beat the Colts.
You must bare with me ... or bear with me ... whatever ... because it all makes sense. The thing about the Broncos is that it's not the same quality of hatred as I have for the Steelers ... with the Steelers, it's a long-standing, deep-seated hatred, but it's a comfortable, almost affectionate hatred born out of this long-standing, time-honored feud (and I was at the 1975 AFC Championship game against the Raiders when it was 92 below zero); with the Broncos, that's a fucking John-Elway-Drive hatred and John-Elway-Jinx-Fumble hatred that all Browns' fans have in common, born not of sport, but of some strange, other-worldly designer's awful, yet artful, imagination, a truth-is-stranger-than-fiction, evil imagination. On another timeline, the Browns won two Super Bowls, never left town, like the Colts abandoned Baltimore in the middle of the night ... and isn't it ironic that the Browns ended up in Baltimore to replace the Colts and won the Super Bowl in real time? So, you see, there is some hand out there, not saying it's an intelligent hand, but there's something out there -- Las Vegas bookies, perhaps -- directing this high drama called the N. F. L.
So, I wanted the Steelers to beat the Colts; and the Steelers would then face the evil-incarnate Broncos for the AFC championship. And with less than a minute left and the ball in the hands of Peyton Manning, things did not look good for the Steelers. At that point, I knew the Steelers would lose because that's destiny. The team for which I root invariably loses. The Browns, the Indians, the Akron Aeros -- all losers when I'm rooting for them ... that's fate; so, I knew my hated Steelers were going to lose.
Then with about 35 seconds left, the telephone chimed in. Who the fuck could be calling now? It was Sindi (I could tell) from Enterprise Rent-A-Car calling about my recent rental experience, and her nice voice from the ether wanted me to answer just a few questions, which would help them to improve service and only take a few minutes of my time. I said, "No;" and I touched the "off" button. And then, all of a sudden, it's Mike the Kicker in the game to try a game-tying field goal for the Colts, which would set up the Steelers' losing the coin toss, and the Colts then marching down the field and scoring for an overtime win ... it was already planned out by some guy in a Vegas backroom, like Cal Ripken hitting a homerun in his final, fixed, at-bat of his career.
But, apparently, other forces were at work. Because Mike the Kicker choked big-time, missing. And next week, it's the Steelers against the Broncos. I'm rooting for the Steelers, which I hate, to beat the fucking Broncos, which I hate. Don't call during the game.
What do we stand for? The First Amendment’s prohibition against restraint of speech was written by the Founding Fathers of this country to directly address the restraints on political speech, speech of protest, and debate on government policies imposed in pre-Revolutionary War America by Britain.
And here we are. We have reached a point where Bush the Lesser has decided that he needs to curb spirited debate on the subject of the war in Iraq. We must watch what we say or we might be accused of giving aid and comfort to the enemy, of abandoning the troops that are fighting this unjust and illegal war, a war which has fomented extreme anti-American sentiment in the Mid-East and throughout the world.
A woman named Tammy Duckworth is running for Congress. I don’t know where; doesn’t matter. She is highly critical of the President. She believes that there needs to be a concrete timetable to bring the troops home. For her, it is not inconsistent to be supportive of the troops and to vehemently oppose the war, something that is anathema to the philosophy of Herr Bush. I wish that W. would dare confront Duckworth, engage her in debate about the course of the war in Iraq, and his vision of the future, and then accuse her, with that derisive laugh under his breath and smug leer, of aiding the enemy and demoralizing the troops in Iraq.
Perhaps he can ask her how long it took her to learn to walk on her titanium legs, the legs that replace the two she lost in a helicopter crash in Iraq, serving her Commander-in-Chief.
And then he can tell her to her face how she is aiding the enemies of freedom and democracy.
What do we stand for? When Bush found out that Sen. John McCain had more than enough votes to override Bush’s threatened veto of the ban on torture, despite the fact that Cheney called every Republican senator personally to lobby for support of his errand boy, Bush said, “We've been happy to work with him to achieve a common objective - and that is to make it clear to the world that this government does not torture.”
Bush then issued a “signing statement” in which he asserted his apparent authority of Commander-in-Chief, although Congress has never declared war on “terror,” Afghanistan, or Iraq, to protect “the American people from further terrorist attacks” (whether he means all Americans, or just North Americans, as opposed to South and Central Americans, I don’t know). It’s obvious to anyone with half a brain that Bush doesn’t give a damn about any kind of torture ban imposed by Congress.
So, what do we stand for? Lord Brown of Eaton-under-Heywood (Don’t you love those British names of places?) recently said, “Torture is an unqualified evil. It can never be justified. Rather, it must always be punished.” And Lord Rodger of Earlsferry pointed out in debate, “The torturer is abhorred not because the information he produces may be unreliable, but because of the barbaric means he uses to extract it.”
I am reminded of the movie “Braveheart,” in which William Wallace is tortured in an attempt to make him pledge his loyalty to the Crown … what does he cry out?
What do we stand for? The enemies of freedom are the very people who are in power in this country because they seek to curb our freedom, to impose tyranny by using fear as a weapon.
Matt told me last week that he had signed up for intramural hockey with some campus friends, some of whom never played before. He called early this morning after his game, as was his custom when he was playing and we couldn't make it to see him play. The wonder and excitement in his voice took me back to when he first took to the ice as a kid who was getting a late start at hockey. Most of the kids with whom he played were already four or five year veterans; so, he had a lot of catching up to do.
This morning, though, he said that he could still skate and was very polite and sportsmanlike,playing defense and passing the puck even though he was the best skater on the ice and could have taken it end-to-end. He had fun. And that was great to hear in his voice -- sheer fun and utter satisfaction.
Fair play. Sportsmanship. Stacey, who woke up and told me the phone was ringing, pointed out Matt learned his lessons well from one of his favorite books he made us read to him over and over and over when he was little -- How Tom Beat Captain Najork and his Hired Sportsmen by Russell Hoban & Quentin Blake, a book that was lost when the basement flooded a few years back. I had forgotten about the book, and memories of the totally un-fun Ms. Fidget Wonkham-Strong, metal helmet on her head, and Tom's games washed over me, as did the fun we had watching Matt play hockey.
It was a great phone call and a joy- and wonder-filled post mortem laying in bed with Stace. I discovered one of the reasons we had children.
From time to time, this writer has been known to provide you with some of the things that cults made up of scientists are doing to innocent little creatures. It's not everywhere you can get an unbiased and fair report of what is happening in the world of scientific research.
There was an artificial sweetener on the market in the USA at one time long before the turn of the century called cyclamate. The pesky scientists back then fed mice more cyclamate than any person could have in several lifetimes, and the mice developed bladder cancer and shrunken testicles. Cyclamate was banned by the FDA in the U.S.
It's time to ban soy. Male mice with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy, from which 1 in 500 American males suffer, tended to develop heart failure after being fed a soy-based diet as opposed to a milk-protein-based diet. I cite as precedent for this proposed ban on soy products the fact that the FDA banned cyclamates, despite a lack of supporting studies, because of its deleterious effect on male mice.
And to all of the men out there whose significant others are asking them to switch to soyburgers, tofu, and soybean juice (aka "soymilk"): Don't be paranoid ... yet. Although researchers were "shocked" and "astonished" by the results of their study, they stopped short of concluding that real men should not eat soy. "It would be a huge extrapolation to say people with hypertrophic cardiomyopathy shouldn't eat soy," said Leslie Leinwand, Ph.D., chair of the Department of Molecular, Cellular, and Developmental Biology of the University of Colorado.
Oh ... by the way, guys, Dr. Leinwand is a woman.
"The executive branch shall construe Title X in Division A of the Act, relating to detainees, in a manner consistent with the constitutional authority of the President to supervise the unitary executive branch and as Commander in Chief and consistent with the constitutional limitations on the judicial power, which will assist in achieving the shared objective of the Congress and the President, evidenced in Title X, of protecting the American people from further terrorist attacks." -- George W. Bush, annexed to the recent appropriations bill that included Sen. McCain's amendment that bans torture and sets U.S. policy concerning the use of torture.
What does Bush mean by this?
He means, "Fuck you, Congress, and fuck you, American people. I do whatever I want to do, and whatever I do is right."
Bush authored similar statements on over 100 occasions in his first term of office, basically interpreting the law or ignoring it as he saw fit, despite what the American people, through its elected representatives, desired.
I'm no great scholar, but this is not rocket science. First, when interpreting laws of the Congress, one looks to the language. The laws are sometimes written in English and pretty easy to understand ... what do the words say? If you look at the resolution allowing the President to use American forces in Iraq, which was not a declaration of war by Congress, it's not too difficult to figure out that a lot of the whereases aren't true.
Second, if the tucking words are hard to figure out, and it seems to me that Bush, Cheney, et al., have extreme difficulty understanding plain English, look to what is called the legislative history... the record of the development of the law, the various drafts, and the debate that ended in passage of the law as finally written ... to determine the intent of the lawmakers.
What the President thinks the law means is immaterial; it is the intent of Congress that is material. I found a law that covers the responsibility of the Chief Executive: [The President] shall take care that the laws be faithfully executed ... That seems pretty clear to me. Now, what law is that? That's found in the Constitution of the United States of America, Article II, Section 3. The President is choosing to ignore his duty under the Constitution.
I know the argument that the President says he can ignore Congress because he is Commander-in-Chief and he has inherent expanded "war powers." That is an interesting argument because Congress shall have power ... To declare war, grant letters of marque and reprisal, and make rules concerning captures on land and water; ... To make rules for the government and regulation of the land and naval forces .... That's in the document that sets up the structure of our democracy, our representative democracy, you know, the rules that make our country what it is -- the Constitution of the United States of America, Article I, Section 8.
At least, Nixon withdrew from Viet Nam and ended that dark period of American history. At least, Nixon opened up China to western thought and cooled tensions with the Red Chinese leadership.
At least, Nixon resigned.
I am so damn gullible stupid. Sheba, the 74-pound boxer, and Bella, the rambunctious, lithe, 11-month-old, 48-pound boxer, were playing tug-of-war with a stuffed monkey ... it used to be stuffed, and it used to have four limbs; but the stuffing has been ripped out of the entire monkey, even the head, and the arms are gone ... and Stacey, the evil one, who at this moment is conspiring with one KathyHowe to have me put down just like a dog because I have voted for Master P after being forced to watch "Dancing With the Stars," suggested that I get down on the floor and play with the dogs because I haven't done that for a while. "It'll be fun," she said.
So, I did. All of a sudden, one of the dogs got very angry; and instead of a three-way tug-of-war, it was two dogs trying to kill each other with me in the middle, trying to separate them. I was successful, pulling Bella away and lifting her up off the ground to about shoulder height, but not before I felt something running down my forehead and dripping off my neanderthal brow. Stacey was concerned ... not about me ... she was worried about Sheba, who was licking her paws. There was blood splattered on the floor ... she said it must be from one of the dogs.
Dogs ... what the fuck. I'm bleeding like a stuck pig with two bite holes in my head and a scratch down my forehead.
Vote Master P at abc.com.
It seems the majority of the American public cares more about the sex and lies that went on in the Clinton Administration than the wholesale illegal emasculation of individual privacy by the Bush Administration. If Bush was lying about getting a blowjob, he'd be impeached. But when he lies about things like wiretapping and admits to breaking the law for expediency, that's okay with everybody.
Here's some news for you: Bush lied today when he briefed us all about Afghanistan and how well things have turned out over there. I guess that the gist of the message is: With Bush, all things are possible.
What is really going on over in Afghanistan?
Can someone ask the Commander-in-Chief, who was clearing the back 40 at the Crawford ranch over his Christmas vacation, waiting for the dust to settle, just what he is running over there?
The President back in the day thought it was cool that a democratic government was installed elected in South Viet Nam Iraq. The casualties in that war, the justification for which was faulty information communicated to the Congress and the American public, increased after that democratic government began operation.
Too bad George was a cheerleader in college, not a history major -- because all we have is a cheerleader in the White House.
This is a golf blog. Stick those words into Blogwise, whatever that might be, and this place comes up number one; so, I feel compelled to write about golf. There are many out there who think that Golf is an unimportant pursuit and has no relevance to life, but you would be wrong.
Terrorist cells within this country think Golf is important, obviously believing that blowing up a golf course will demoralize the population and destroy the ... *ahem* ... economic prosperity the country is enjoying.
When I read that one bomb was detonated on the roadway leading to the Canyons Golf Club and one was found in a utility cart on the course in the President's home state of Texas, near Austin, I thought, for sure, the Terror Alert Level would be increased to RED. But no, nary a word. Nothing.
Why is that, you may wonder. The New York subways close down because of a rumor of a bomb. Here, a bomb goes off. Another live bomb is found. And the Texas National Guard is not mobilized. There's no publicity inciting golfers to rise up and find the Terrorists ... nobody cares.
Here's the reason: the Canyons is a mere public golf course, not a private bastion of the moneyed elite. Killing off some pay-for-play peons isn't news. Their lives are unimportant ... no doctors, no oil barons, no stock brokers, no Enron executives ... just regular people.
Kinda like the people the President sent over to Iraq and Afghanistan who have died. No great loss in the general scheme of things.